“Our ancient experience confirms at every point that everything is linked together, everything is inseparable” – Dalai Lama XIV
After writing the last post I have been in something of a quandary about how to approach the next ‘issue’. In the process of looking back at the ‘how’s’ and ‘whys’ of ending up in a traumatised state, the mind naturally seeks to find reasons or specific ‘things’ that have led to the situation. Most of us can review the ‘events’ of our lives and point to a great number of experiences that have created pain, suffering, and sadness. What my question is then, is if this experience of ‘suffering’ is so universal – so shared, and inherent to all living beings – why then, do we feel so isolated in this? What causes us to shut down, pull back, and internalise ideas, feelings and memories that, in all practical terms, do nothing but keep the ‘Pain Disco’ going on not just for a few nights, but for many months, years, or sometimes decades? If it was a party, surely, most guests would have the good sense to leave, or, at least, change the music? But for some reason, we get hooked on DJ Suffering – and now he’s a multi-platinum award winner.
Several years ago, I went through a very significant relationship break-up. Aside from one point in my childhood, I would look back at that time and still be able to recall with acute detail, the complete unrelenting suffering I felt on the day of the ‘breakup’ and for a long time afterwards. At that point I was entirely convinced my suffering was beyond the understanding of most people. It almost didn’t matter how much was offered to me in terms of support, love and friendship – that one person was ‘gone’ and I could see no future. It didn’t matter that I still had my ‘health’, my youth, my job, my studies, my friends, my family and every other blessing in the world – there was nothing – in my mind – but a vacuous pit where my ‘life’ used to be.