You’re Not Alone – Tears of Truth



“Our ancient experience confirms at every point that everything is linked together, everything is inseparable” – Dalai Lama XIV

After writing the last post I have been in something of a quandary about how to approach the next ‘issue’.  In the process of looking back at the ‘how’s’ and ‘whys’ of ending up in a traumatised state, the mind naturally seeks to find reasons or specific ‘things’ that have led to the situation.  Most of us can review the ‘events’ of our lives and point to a great number of experiences that have created pain, suffering, and sadness.  What my question is then, is if this experience of ‘suffering’ is so universal – so shared, and inherent to all living beings – why then, do we feel so isolated in this?  What causes us to shut down, pull back, and internalise ideas, feelings and memories that, in all practical terms, do nothing but keep the ‘Pain Disco’ going on not just for a few nights, but for  many months, years, or sometimes decades?  If it was a party, surely, most guests would have the good sense to leave, or, at least, change the music?  But for some reason, we get hooked on DJ Suffering – and now he’s a multi-platinum award winner.

Several years ago, I went through a very significant relationship break-up.  Aside from one point in my childhood, I would look back at that time and still be able to recall with acute detail, the complete unrelenting suffering I felt on the day of the ‘breakup’ and for a long time afterwards.  At that point I was entirely convinced my suffering was beyond the understanding of most people.  It almost didn’t matter how much was offered to me in terms of support, love and friendship – that one person was ‘gone’ and I could see no future.  It didn’t matter that I still had my ‘health’, my youth, my job, my studies, my friends, my family and every other blessing in the world – there was nothing – in my mind – but a vacuous pit where my ‘life’ used to be.

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Honestly, I Need Help – The Discourse of a Slowly Opening Throat Chakra



”I am not what happened to me.  I am what I choose to become” – C.G. Jung

This wasn’t ‘supposed’ to be the topic for my inaugural blog-post, but this is what came out.  I’m not sure it’s ‘strategically’ wise to begin on this note, but then I’ve never been good at strategy.  They say the Gods laugh at human plans – and in this case, as in many others, I think that’s often true.  In writing this blog, unlike with the requirements of academic writing (once, my forte), I have intended to be personally honest, transparent and as ‘real’ as possible. After a night of candid conversation with a good friend and a lot of late-night singing, my throat-chakra is  now well and truly activated, and this is the ‘topic’ that is coming up first.

Asking for help is one of those things I have always dreaded.  I’m not sure if it’s a matter of pride or just an innate desire to make everything seem okay on the surface – maybe we all do this? Perhaps it’s just the way we are.  I know I have always had a tenacious tendency to avoid at all costs the possibility of others knowing that ‘I’ (ego), cannot manage as an entirely self-sufficient, self-sustaining entity.  The idea, when you look at it, seems fairly ludicrous. I still don’t know where it came from – society, family conditioning, or just a trait of my own devise.  Either way, the veil’s been lifted now.  There’s no more pretending so I’m not going to here either. A good dose of serious mental illness will help get this sorted out (not that I’m recommending it).

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